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Diesel Defender, April Fools

By Rich Guida


Truckers all over the country are warning everyone to be on the lookout for a rare animal that is strictly targeting truck stops. Known as the “Diesel Weasel,” the four-legged, mongrel-like creature has been breaking into truck cabs to steal food items and strangely, stuffed animals that drivers have on their dash. Nobody knows how it scrambles past locked doors and closed windows. However, its little pawprints can always be found scattered around the scene of the crime.

“Beyond being intelligent enough to break into vehicles, the craziest thing is that the weasel only goes after truckers,” said Marlin Perkins, chief curator at the Omaha Zoo. “It’s a phenomenon we have never seen before and to this point, it has eluded all capture attempts. There’s no doubt, it’s a cunning little critter.”

Many drivers have equipped their trucks with cameras and have been spending their downtime observing their vehicles from afar, hoping to catch a glimpse of the mysterious varmint. But even with phones always at the ready, the animal has proven to be so clever that no one has been able to get a single shot.

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It has been discovered that there is a way to thwart the Diesel Weasel! It seems the brazen little scoundrel has a fear after all. Jim Fowler is the driver who first detected the remedy. He explained, “I use Howes Diesel Defender to treat my fuel and I happened to have a brand-new bottle sitting on my dash. When I returned to my rig after a trip into the truck stop, it seemed that every single truck around me had been victimized by the Diesel Weasel. But I was spared.” Jim noted that he had several snacks resting on his passenger-side seat and a cute little stuffed panda tucked against his windshield. They remained untouched.

News of the fix is spreading like wildfire. Drivers everywhere are advised to keep a spare bottle of Howes Diesel Defender (the best defense against low lubricity and harmful solvents) in their cab to eliminate the Diesel Weasel threat. “I don’t know if it’s the threat of the unmatched IDX4 Detergent that gets under his skin or the fact that it’s loaded with maximum lubricity that could cause him to lose his footing, but that weasel is definitely afraid of the strength of Diesel Defender,” raves Fowler. “Thanks to the good folks at Howes, I am not only protecting my engine with a superior additive that increases my fuel economy but the sheer vision of the bottle – available in 64 and 32 ounces – has helped me stay worry free whenever I leave my truck too.” Hooray for Howes Diesel Defender!

To find out more about how Howes Diesel Defender can give you a minimum 5% increase in fuel economy, click here. For more on the Diesel Weasel check back next April Fools day!

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